Coffee Bean Run
by charrrmed
Summary: Naomi is more worried about Holden's health than she wants to let on. Morbid late-night thoughts drive her to visit him. For situational awareness. Set after 1x10.


**A/N: **I just finished season 1 of this show, and I'm shipping these two hard. I don't know how many people will read this, but I hope you enjoy it!

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Naomi turned over to lie on her back and exhaled, trying to downplay her frustration. She stared unseeingly at her quarter's ceiling, which was bathed in fake moonlight. Because of all the shit she'd seen and experienced in the past two months, she was no longer comfortable sleeping in complete darkness. She never knew when someone or some disease might board the Rocinante. Her skin still crawled when she thought about Julie Mao's corpse.

Her skin crawled now, and she tightened her muscles and grimaced through the disgusting memory. After the moment passed, she turned to her left side and faced the door. Sighing, she threw her covers to the side and sat up. The only way to abate her thoughts, and the frustration that stemmed from fighting them, was to follow through.

She left her room and made a short way through the dimly lit hallways to Holden's door. There, she stared at it.

Now what?

For all she knew, he'd stopped breathing. For all she knew, he'd chocked on his own blood or vomit. The radiation might've taken him, and now he was dead, and if she didn't knock on his door, then she wouldn't be aware that he was nothing more than a corpse now until the morning.

"You're fucking stupid," she muttered to herself. "He's getting better. And much faster than Miller."

Still, she wanted to make sure. Because all she saw in her mind's eye was a pale body on the other side of this door. Well, paler than normal.

She huffed out a breath and decided to give in to her stubbornness instead. She turned to leave and gasped loudly at the figure she encountered.

Leaning heavily on the wall, Holden was watching her.

"What the hell are you doing?" Naomi rattled off. "Why are you up?"

"Uh. I couldn't sleep and kind of wanted to smell some coffee. Well, the beans."

"You're joking," Naomi retorted incredulously. "You can barely stand, and you roused yourself to go smell coffee?" she asked as she walked to him. She hooked his arm over her shoulders and took him back to his room.

"The beans," Holden specified. Her hold on him was strong, but he tried not to put too much of his weight on her. He pressed his pinky on the reader, and the door opened.

"You're not supposed to strain yourself, and you know that," Naomi chastised, hovering while he got himself on the bed.

Holden settled on his back and sighed, grateful to no longer hold his entire body up. "Thank you."

Naomi tightened her lips in disapproval. "I thought you were a good patient."

"I am," he said, although a smirk tugged at his lips.

Naomi entered the code to open the small cache of emergency supplies that was in every room. She grabbed a device that would allow her to monitor his blood pressure and heart rate.

"Get your breaths in order," she directed when she returned to his bedside.

Holden looked straight ahead and did as instructed. While he did that, she turned on and calibrated the device. When she was satisfied that he was breathing normally, she bent forward to fasten it on his bicep. She pressed the button to start the reading and took her hands off.

It beeped. "One twenty-six over eighty-five," she read. "Ninety-two beats per minute."

She looked at him.

"That's good!" he protested. "I'm sure it was higher when I just got in here."

She took off the device but before she could move further, he gently pulled her forearm. He shifted over the small space so that she could sit.

"Comfort really isn't a priority on these ships, is it?" she quipped as she sat. Most of her butt was off the bed.

"The budget went toward the tech," he joked.

"Thank God, honestly," she replied, chuckling. When the joke passed, she averted her eyes.

"I'm getting better. You said so," Holden reminded her.

"That won't remain the case if you start making one a.m. coffee-smelling runs."

"It was the-"

"Beans," she finished with him. "Shut up." But she couldn't stop herself from laughing, and he joined her.

"I'm going to be fine. Just in case you were worried," Holden reiterated.

"Like I said: being in charge sucks, so I want you to get back to it as soon as possible."

"We both know you've really been in charge this whole time."

"Hasn't felt like it when you've challenged me," she said pointedly.

Holden shrugged. "Sometimes I disagree with your course."

"Likewise," she was quick to retort.

"But I do trust you. Before…before all this, it was just something you said, you know? Do you trust your crew? Yeah. All of this has made me realize that…I miss our old crew, but we hadn't gone through shit together."

Naomi nodded. "I agree."

She had sincerely thought Holden an idiot for sending those rescue coordinates for the Scopuli. Despite the tragedies that befell them since then, however, she had long since changed her mind. Holden cared about people, and he cared for the right reasons. That steadfast virtue awakened her own caring nature and brought it to the forefront. That was why she had readily accepted the Erosian refugees who had asked to come with them. That was why she felt solemn about not being able to save more people before they'd left the rock.

She constantly wondered what happened to the _shukri_. Had she reunited with her family at the hospital? Were there any survivors on Eros? Alex was tuned to every frequency for any piece of news about Eros, but things were eerily silent. She had never felt more unsafe.

"I trust you, too," she told Holden. He was the most level-headed person on the ship, after her. Alex was known to give in to a panic or two or waffle, and Amos waited for her to make decisions. After he suggested an extreme option, of course.

She did not want to be the only one with a level head.

"No more bean-sniffing runs," Holden promised. "I'll stay put until I get better."

"It's radiation poisoning," she said, unable to mask the sadness in her voice. "You're not guaranteed a straight path to recovery. Things could take a turn."

Holden reached over and took her hand, squeezing it. He could get used to grabbing her hand. "You waited for me back there. Don't give up on me now."

"I'm not giving up. I said three hours, and you made it back. You made good time. I need you to do that again."

She told herself that she should've said _want_. Not _need_.

"Thank you for visiting me," Holden said, laying her hand on his chest. He wanted to speak further and tell her that he appreciated it, but he decided not to. He didn't want to…he didn't want her to deal with that right now. He wasn't even sure how much weight was behind this appreciation. It was better that he kept his mouth shut.

"Sleep," Naomi said.

"You're the boss," he retorted, letting her go.

She rolled her eyes, but she did gift him a smile. She put the device back in its place and began to leave.

Holden stopped her at the door. "Goodnight, Naomi."

Naomi turned to him, and she valiantly swatted the dread away. He was going to be fine.

"Goodnight, Holden."


End file.
